Hold On

Hold on, hold onto me, dear friend. For I fear without your embrace I may fade away. I’m cold, so very cold but your warmth reminds me of what it felt like to be home. Keep me close to your heart, for that is where I wish to stay forever.

My breathing is shaky, my words slip, my hands trembling. I try to utter the words I wish to say to you so desperately, but I can’t. I try to show you what I wish to see, but I’m unable to. Oh ’twas me cursed to love one whose heart belongs to another.

Your emotions are in turmoil, your mind in disarray. If nothing makes sense, how do you make sense of this? How do we come to the decision that what we have cannot be what we both need oh so desperately?

I’m sitting here at quite late an hour, the night sky is riddled with stars, tiny flecks of light in the pure black void. Although sleep tries to envelop me, I wish to stay awake, for I know not how many beautiful nights like this I may live to see again.

It’s getting harder to breathe as time passes on, I see things changing before my very eyes. I see people growing older, maturing, I’m reminded of time simply passes by us. Waiting for no one and going forward, never stopping. And it saddens me to see this day, but I am more forlorn over how short a time I have left with you.

Hold on, hold onto me, dear friend. For I fear without your embrace I may fade away. I’m cold, so very cold but your warmth reminds me of what it felt like to be home. Keep me close to your heart, for that is where I wish to stay forever.

I try to sing and my voice cracks each time the words reach my lips, the only thing I can utter anymore is your name. But how am I to sing of my sorrows, when the only thing I can sing about is the one thing that brought me joy?

As I’m left here thinking of where time will take me, I’m left wondering how much time do I have itself. Will I see tomorrow? Who knows how long they truly have, I do not. But I am content with seeing where time will take me.

I know I don’t have much time left, all I can do is hold on for as long as I can. You give me all the strength I have left. And I know until my last dying breath, I will love you, for I know not of any other love. I’ve held on only so long because of you. But my illness is getting stronger. My strength is waning.

As I go I ask only one thing of you, promise me… promise me you’ll hold on. Promise me despite how tough it may get, you’ll keep fighting. Promise me you won’t give up when giving up seems like the easiest thing to do. My soul will rest easy knowing you held on when I couldn’t… I’ll know my life meant something after all.

I’m afraid though, I’m afraid of what’s in store for me. Stay with me? Just a little while longer, until I can finally rest.

Hold on, hold onto me, dear friend. For I fear without your embrace I may fade away. I’m cold, so very cold but your warmth reminds me of what it felt like to be home. Keep me close to your heart, for that is where I wish to stay forever.

Goodbye, my love, you will forever be my always. Even if I wasn’t yours.