Life is truly a wondrous thing if one truly wishes to admire it for its real beauty, we all lead very different lives than each other. Some of us spend our entire lives always knowing what we’re doing, planning everything in a very meticulous manner and executing everything to perfection. But then there are those who wish to be great but aren’t as adept at following through with everything they plan. The ambition is there, the will to succeed is there but there is one thing or the other always holding them back from achieving the greatness they’re destined to reach.
Make no mistake there is nothing in this world that we can’t do, but only the fearless can be great at them. The ones who aren’t afraid to take a risk, to go the extra mile for what matters to them.
I was much like the second of people in life. I had dreams, I had goals. I wanted to be someone who people could look up to, I wanted to be remembered as someone great. When people thought of me when I’d be gone I wanted them to remember me with a smile on their face, and no tears in their eyes, but if they ever wept for me it’d be tears of joy. ‘That woman truly was different, she made a difference in life. She helped me…’ that is how I wished to be remembered. But I always found myself lacking in one thing or the other. I knew that this shouldn’t be happening, I was smart, I was brave, I was cunning when needed, my looks weren’t half bad either, but most of all I had a good heart.
I never hurt anyone if I could help it, never broke anyone’s heart. In fact, I tried to help as many people as I could, spread all the happiness that was possible for one girl. I helped people laugh, I helped people smile, I took away everyone’s sadness even if it meant making it my own. As long as I could make a difference for someone and make their life better it made me feel good about myself. I wasn’t always a very religious person but whenever I was sad I’d pray to my Lord and I’d ask him “Oh my Lord, have I done something to displease you? Haven’t I made you happy with all that I do for your people? I try and help as many people as I can, I spread smiles wherever I go. Why is it then that I am unhappy in life?”
I’d go about my life each day the same way, I tried to study but could never reach the potential everyone knew I could reach. I grew frustrated with myself, I began fearing for my future, I feared no college would take me. I feared I’d let my parents down, that I was worthless. My friends seemed to have their lives sorted out, some were planning where to go on vacation, some were already looking forward to college, but all I could do was feel miserable about how unfair my life seemed to be.
I sat down, with a clear mind. I wished to speak to my Lord and ask Him for help. I prayed to him, I spoke to Him of all the good I’d done, I spoke to Him of my failures, I spoke to Him of what I wished to be in this life. I wept in front of my Lord for forgiveness, I wasn’t very religious by any means, I didn’t pray very often but I wasn’t infrequent with it either. I still tried to do all the good things my religion taught. But I felt like something was always missing. As I sat that one night and wept to my Lord, I asked him to help not just me, I asked Him to help my friends who were going through troubles worse than mine. I asked Him to help my family, my father was very sick and being admitted to the hospital he needed all the prayers he could possibly get. I prayed for my best friend the boy who stood by me through everything, no matter how much I pushed him away he always seemed to find his way back into my heart. I prayed to Him to help me find my way back to my religion, to help me find my way in life. And I promised Him I’d work harder than ever, and I fulfilled that promise to Him.
After I got up praying that night, I felt a change in me, my heart felt lighter. I felt better than I had in quite a while. I fulfilled my promise to my Lord. I started praying more regularly, I thanked Him for the life he’d given me, for the blessings He’d bestowed on me. And with time, I saw how the power of prayer began working, life didn’t seem so bleak anymore. My father got better, I began studying harder than ever and managed to get into the college I wished to study in. My friends who I saw suffering, it seemed my Lord wished for me to be the one to end their suffering. I helped them in any way that I could and stood by them when there was nothing to be done. And with time all the suffering ebbed away. And my best friend, the one who stood by me when I thought I was worthless and had nothing left in me, he showed me he’d love me just for who I am regardless of what that entailed.
And so I began hoping again, I began hoping for a good life. I began hoping that there was a good future waiting for me ahead, and not just me but for all of us. Because a very important thing I feel we all forget from time to time is that there is more to living than not dying. There is so much to be done if only one wills it to be so, anything is possible so long as you believe in it. And prayers do wonders even in the darkest of times, this was something I’d experienced for myself. For those of us who are going through a tough time, just know, you are never alone and things will get better given time. Never lose faith.
The Romantic Hopelessly 